Lisa: Mr. Flanders - with all due respect, Bart didn't do anything.
Ned Flanders: Do I hear the sound of butting in? It's gotta be Little Lisa Simpson: Springfield's answer to a question NO ONE ASKED!
Chief Wiggum: [laughs]
Chief Wiggum: What do we have here? The Long Flabby Arm of the Law? The last case you got to the bottom of was a case of Mallomars!
Krusty: "Mallomars?" Ohh, that's going in the act!
Ned Flanders: Oh, yeah.. the clown! The only one of you buffoons who doesn't make me laugh!
Ned Flanders: And you! I don't know who you are but I'm sure you're an idiot!
Lenny: Hey, I just got here! What's going on?!
NED FLANDERS (Nedward Flanders, Jr., aka Stupid Sexy Flanders)
First Appearance: "Simpsons Roasting Over an Open Fire" (1989)
Played By: Harry Shearer
Role: The Religious Guy, Nicest Guy Ever, Annoying Neighbor
PL 3 (47)
STRENGTH 2 STAMINA 3 AGILITY 2
FIGHTING 1 DEXTERITY 0
INTELLIGENCE 1 AWARENESS 2 PRESENCE 1
Skills:
Athletics 2 (+4)
Expertise (Religion) 8 (+9)
Expertise (Small Business Owner- The Leftorium) 4 (+5)
Expertise (Internet Businesses) 2 (+3)
Expertise (Pharmaceuticals Salesman) 4 (+5)
Expertise (Volunteer Firefighter) 2 (+3)
Expertise (Theme Parks) 2 (+3)
Advantages:
None
Powers:
"Surprisingly-Ripped Physique" Features 1: Quick Change [1]
"God Puts Out the Flames On His House" Features 1: May Spend a Hero Point To Get Some Miracle [1]
"Stupid Sexy Flanders" Attractive 2 (Flaws: Source- When It's Like He's Wearing Nothing At All... Nothing At All... Nothing At All...) [1]
Offense:
Unarmed +1 (+2 Damage, DC 17)
Initiative +2
Defenses:
Dodge +2 (DC 12), Parry +2 (DC 12), Toughness +3, Fortitude +6, Will +6
Complications:
Relationship (Maude, Rod & Todd)- Ned is a devoted husband and father to his equally-religious wife, and his sheltered, naiive children. When Maude died, he took it about as well as anyone could have.
Relationship (Other Women)- Ned has scored with a few hot chicks since Maude's passing, such as Christian Rocker Rachel Jordan, and movie star Sara Sloane. Recently, he has married Edna Krabappel.
Responsibility (Good-Natured)- Because of the Spankology he was subjected to as a young boy, Ned is now incapable of expressing anger or frustration, aside from engaging in some goofy, simplistic babb-diddly-abble. Only Homer Simpson seems capable of bringing out this side of him, which is occasionally healthy, but usually just annoying.
Responsibility (SUPER Christian)- Ned is so Christian that refuses to believe in the existence of Cavemen, won't get insurance ("Ned considers it a form of GAMBLING"), doesn't believe in flu shots, attempts to baptize the Simpson children without Homer's consent, mocks other religions, never drinks (EVER), attends Church every day, prays for the day when his boys start speaking in tongues, harasses Reverend Lovejoy constantly, fears that he's beginning to covet his own wife, and more. He is honest to a fault, and tries to do EVERYTHING the Bible says- "Even the stuff that contradicts the OTHER stuff!"
Relationship (Homer Simpson)- Ned's neighbor is a boorish ass who insults Ned, borrows his things while never returning them (and often simply just stealing them), and more. Ned tries hard to forgive, but just gets more disrespect in turn.
Hatred (The Post Office)
Hatred (And My Parents)- Lousy Beatniks.
Total: Abilities: 24 / Skills: 24--12 / Advantages: 0 / Powers: 3 / Defenses: 8 (47)
-Ned Flanders started off as a parody of the "Perfect Neighbor", a kind of character who would antagonize Homer just by being so darn kind and decent- his last name comes from a street in Matt Groening's Portland hometown, and the Leftorium is based off of the failed business of a friend of George Meyer's. His Christianity was added in just to stick it to the sinful Homer EVEN MORE, and was at first just sort of "there" as a minor character trait. Within a few seasons, Ned became the representative of the semi-bigoted Christian Religious Right, and his faith got amped up and exaggerated until it was practically his only character trait- TV Tropes would call the tendency of characters to become parodies of themselves over time "Flanderization" in honor of this. Quite funny, considering that part of the early intentions of the character was to specifically NOT make him a Strawman so the writers could just knock him down.
-Of course, Ned is still one of the best and funniest characters on the show, and has more characterization and depth that almost any other Springfieldianite- despite the occasional dive into self-parody, they get a lot out of his nerdiness, overly-kind nature, how messed-up his sons are (all but one channel of 230 is blacked-out by Ned; they used to watch Davey & Goliath, but Rod decided that "the idea of a talking dog is blasphemous"). An interesting bunch of stories took place around when I stopped watching, when his wife Maude was killed in a tragic accident. Ned briefly dated a Christian rock singer (Lisa: "Wait, isn't that the drummer from Satanica?" Marge: "*gasp* IT IS!"), but would do weird sh*t like cut her hair while she was sleeping to give her Maude's haircut, but a later episode saw him commiserate with Mrs. Krabappel over having to deal with Bart Simpson, ending up with the two MARRIED. Sadly, Mrs. K's voice actress died not too long after, resulting in Ned being twice-widowed.
-The episode where Ned finally cracks under the pressure of politeness is one of the show's best. His house is destroyed in an accident (Ned didn't have insurance, considering it a form of gambling), he's so distressed when the town comes together and immediately screws up building him a replacement home that he goes on a complete rampage that tears into everyone he sees (Lenny: "Hey I just got here, what's going on?!"). Ned checks himself into a mental hospital ("Kicking and screaming, please!") and the psychiatrist who'd made a breakthrough by spanking young Ned for a full year gets called in to help him. Homer of all people is a big help, convincing Ned to vent his rage at points.
